I keep hinting about a post where I write about the issue I’ve been having with clothes lately. This is going to be that post…or part of that post. Everything I want to say is going to be really long so I may break it up. But we’re going to start here and see how it goes.

At my heaviest weight, and even 50 lbs ago, I didn’t feel like I had many options in clothing. It was more find something that fit and I was comfortable in and then get that shirt/pair of pants in a few colors and there you have a uniform sort of wardrobe.

This is pretty much why I have 2-3 of the exact same shirt in different colors.

I also never felt comfortable in prints either. So all shirts I wore on a regular basis were cotton and solid colors except for a few dressier options for the couple occasions I needed to dress up for.

Some of my colder weather 3/4 length sleeved shirts had some decoration on the collar but that was pretty much the extent of what my shirts were.

As for pants, I had 2-3 pair of work pants – generally black, a couple pairs of jeans, and a pair of capris that I wore out.

This was how it was for me….until recently.

And I am not complaining or trying to complain. I am just having a really difficult time with the changes in my body that have come with the weight loss and honestly, I haven’t really known how to deal with them.

Plus, it is SO weird to try on clothes now.

I don’t really know what size I am, I am shrinking out of pants sometimes quicker than I can wear them, I am still looking for over-sized, cotton, solid colored shirts, and I don’t even know what I like or what really looks good on me.

Again, not complaining at all. I am thrilled about being in a smaller size and I have worked hard to get here.

I just feel this huge disconnect with clothes; we haven’t had a smooth relationship over the years.

So I’ve gone to the Avenue and Torrid and tried on clothes and even bought a few items – some not solid colored, not over-sized, not 100% cotton items.

I have choices now and variety in my wardrobe and it’s freaking me out a little!

However, I still struggle on a regular basis with being comfortable in clothes that actually fit and have a print and colors.

And cardigans…let’s talk about cardigans. Because I have like 4 of them.

I am always cold now for some reason. I think I’ve lost my insulation. lol I may just need to get a proper winter coat this year instead of the sweatshirt I’ve been wearing. (which, btw, is a men’s 2X and the last one was a 5X!)

Part of my problem is that I didn’t have a closet full of “skinny clothes” to turn to when I lost weight like some people do. I was pretty much the size I was for a number of years.

2008 is when my heaviest weight was on my medical records and seriously, it may have been even before then.

So I’ve basically had to start completely over.

I have shopped on Poshmark for a lot of things and will definitely be listing a number of clothes I have shrunk out of on there. I also found some great deals at Hips, which is a plus sized retail store in my area. They have great prices and have a pretty good variety of clothing to look at and try on.

And again, not complaining – just really been struggling with it all. I guess I don’t feel like I was expecting to feel this way about clothes. Maybe I didn’t think about it or maybe it was just because I haven’t been to this size or place as an adult and had no clue what to expect.

But I feel like a hot mess of uncomfortableness on a regular basis. I try to stay with clothes I am comfortable in, but I have some outfits that I just am not 100% comfy in, although I think they look ok on me.

I’m getting there though…it’s definitely a work in progress.

How about you? Have you lost (or even gained) a lot of weight and lost your identity with clothes? Can you relate to my struggle? Leave me a comment and we can support each other!

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